


Things I Want in a Family

by Queenbee3480



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26961949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenbee3480/pseuds/Queenbee3480
Summary: Based on the following prompt:"Regina finds this among Emma’s papers and old books. She tears up realizing the life she doomed Emma to live through as a child." (Link to picture below)https://www.pinterest.com/pin/566961040567384906/?nic_v2=1a6dxenqT
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 11
Kudos: 97





	Things I Want in a Family

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the following prompt:
> 
> "Regina finds this among Emma’s papers and old books. She tears up realizing the life she doomed Emma to live through as a child." (Link to picture below)
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/566961040567384906/?nic_v2=1a6dxenqT

Regina shook her head when she entered the den and saw the boxes stacked in the corner. Leave it to Emma to still have unpacked boxes after living at the mansion for 6 months. She twisted the diamond engagement ring on her finger absently as she bent over the boxes to see what was inside.

The first box was easy. Regina took the pile of clothes and brought them straight to the laundry room. 6 months packed in a box did not do them any favors.

The second box contained books. Absently, she thumbed through the titles, organizing them by genre as she went, for ease in placing them in the library. She chuckled when she saw the stack of trashy romance novels buried at the bottom of the box.

 _Didn’t think I would find those, did you Miss Swan?_ Making a snap decision, she put the books back in the box haphazardly, allowing her fiancé the opportunity to unpack that box herself without the knowledge that she had been busted.

The third box contained photos and papers. A quick glance inside told her it would be a huge invasion of privacy to sort through it and she went to move it out of the way, when it slipped from her grasp.

 _Damn it_.

She walked around the room, stacking all the papers up and replacing them in the box. This little exercise in helpfulness had not been productive in the slightest. It was time to call it a day.

As she left the den, a single sheet of worn paper floated down from the sofa where it had fallen and landed at her feet. A quick glance at it had her struggling with her conscience instantly.

“Things I want in a family”. The childish handwriting told her it had been written years before, when Emma was a child. She should put it back in the box, she knew that, but her curiosity got the best of her.

She was only human, after all.

Items on the list flew off the page, punching her in the face.

_Help with school._

_Don’t kill my pets._

_Running water and lights._

Unconsciously, she pressed her hand against her mouth in horror as she continued to read the list in no particular order.

_Food and water._

_Let me keep my games._

_I want love._

That last item was too much for her and the paper slipped from her hand as she dissolved into tears.

_What have I done?_

\--------------------------------------------------------------

“Regina?”

“In here.”

Emma smiled when she found her fiancé in the dining room, pouring her a glass of cider. She reached for the glass as she kissed Regina.

“Mmm. I missed you,” she said, teasing Regina’s lips with her tongue, encouraging her to open them for her. Regina obliged, but after a few moments, she broke away to lead Emma into the living room towards the couch.

“Oh, I like where this is going,” Emma said, setting her glass down on the end table by the couch.

“Yes, I thought you might. But first, I want to talk to you.”

Emma nibbled at her mouth again. “Kiss now. Talk later.”

Regina pulled away. “I’m serious, Emma.”

Emma looked at the brunette in worry. “What’s wrong? Is someone hurt?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Regina assured her quickly. Taking a deep breath, she took her fiancé’s hand.

“You agreed to marry me, and it was the happiest day of my life,” she began.

“Mine, too.” Emma thought about leaning in for another kiss, but something in Regina’s eyes made her stop. “Regina, you are scaring me. What is it?”

“I can’t figure out why you even talk to me. You should hate me.”

“Maybe. But I don’t. I love you.” Regina turned away, unable to look her fiancé in the eye anymore.

“Look at me, Regina. I love you. What is going on?”

“When I cast the curse, it was to make Snow White suffer. And I suppose she did, but mostly she was oblivious for the duration of the curse. You are the one who took the brunt of it. You are the one that felt that pain every day of your childhood.” Her voice broke as Emma looked on in concern.

“I don’t deserve to have you,” she whispered.

“Come on, Regina, of course you do,” she said, as Regina shook her head emphatically.

“I _don’t_ ”

“Regina, we have been over this so many times before. What brought this on?”

“I found this. I’m sorry, I was trying to help you unpack the rest of your boxes and it fell out. I know I shouldn’t have read it.” She held it out to Emma with trembling fingers.

Emma read the paper. “I forgot all about this list,” she said. “I was 8 when I wrote it.” 

“Tell me about something on this list.”

“What, really?”

“If you can, yes. Please. I…I need to know what I did to you.”

“You didn’t do these things, Regina.”

“Please. Just one thing for tonight and then when you’re ready, one thing more, and then one thing more. I can’t shy away from the horror of your childhood any longer.”

“And you’re sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.” The word was spoken with quiet determination.

“Ok.” She glanced at the list. “When I was five, I went to a carnival with the group home I was living in. One of the counselors won each of us a goldfish in one of those games where you toss a ball in the goldfish bowl, you know?”

She actually didn’t, but she nodded anyway, encouraging Emma to continue.

“Anyway, I named mine Sammy and I kept him in a Tupperware container one of the older kids smuggled out of the kitchen for me. I fed him little crumbs of bread from my dinner. I would stay up and talk to him at night. I loved him. Or her. Hey, do goldfish have genders?”

Regina had a sickening sense that she knew where this story was going. “Emma,” she said.

“Right. Anyway, I went to a foster home a couple of days later and when I got home from my first day of kindergarten, my foster mom had flushed him down the toilet.”

Regina felt her heart split in half. “Oh god, Emma.”

Emma shrugged. “It’s whatever. It was a goldfish, right? Probably would have died in the next couple of days, anyway.”

“Please, don’t play this off. I’m so sorry, Emma. I…I just don’t know what to say.”

“Hey, Regina, look at me.”

“I can’t,” she whispered.

“You can. You have to because this is important.”

Regina forced herself to meet her fiancé’s eyes, overwhelmed by the love and compassion she saw there.

“I forgive you.” The dam burst and the tears that had been running down Regina’s face turned into sobs. She buried her face in her hands and Emma pulled her close to her chest.

“Listen to me, Regina. I am going to say this as many times as you need to hear it. I. Forgive. You.”

“Emma.” Her voice came out hoarse and she cleared her throat. “Emma, I can’t go back and give you these things as a child, but I promise you, I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“I know. You don’t have to, but I know you will. And Regina, never forget. Henry never had to write a list like this, and that is because of you. If you think you are unworthy of love or forgiveness, just hold on to that.”

This time, Regina couldn’t speak, so she just squeezed Emma’s hand gratefully.

“You know, there is something I have been meaning to talk to you about, and this seems like a good time.” Now that it was time for this conversation, Emma was suddenly nervous.

“What is it, Emma?”

“We can’t go back and change my childhood, that is true. But there are so many children out there that are writing lists like this of their own and I thought, maybe…” Her voice trailed off.

Regina’s breath caught and she felt her heart fill in a way she never dreamed possible. “You want to adopt a child with me?” she asked, voice full of hope.

“I mean, I know we can’t save the world, but maybe we can save one child’s world, right?”

Regina laughed delightedly. “That was so cheesy,” she said.

“I know, I know,” Emma groaned.

“And so beautiful.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I would love to adopt a child with you Emma Swan.”

“Soon to be Swan-Mills, if you’re done with your little freak out session.”

“Swan-Mills,” she agreed, capturing her love’s lips in a kiss.

“I love you, Regina Swan-Mills.”

“I love you too.”

Fin


End file.
